How Do You Sleep?

I lay in bed

Counting sheep

I toss and turn

While I take a trip

Down memory lane

The laughs

The tears

Those golden moments

That took our breaths away

I toss and turn

I try to wrap my head around

How everything hit the rocks

Trying to figure you out

And why you did the things you did

Said the things you said

I toss and turn

Because sleep evades me

They say there is no pillow as soft..

.. As a clear conscience

So I lay in bed

Wondering ...

How do you sleep?

Maybe you don't..

Maybe you do

Maybe you do not own a conscience

Maybe you do

Maybe it would not have made a difference

But I'll really like to know..

How do you sleep?

~ I watch people do the things they do, and listen to some of the things people say, and I'm just confused. When I was growing up, soaps like The bold & The beautiful, The Guiding Light, Sunset Beach etc.. used to upset me after awhile, because the drama was way too much, and people could get so wicked. I didn't understand it. It really got me emotional. In general, bad people, and bad endings upset me. I sound like some kid, and that's disturbing. LOL. As if that wasn't disturbing enough, as I grew up, I realized that the script writers didn't just pull that ish out of their asses... THESE THINGS HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE!!! Eeeeeek!! SCARY, INIT?!! Clearly, I'm not very well prepped for life, because these things shock me every single time, even when I've seen it time and time again. Had a convo with a friend recently and she said 'Human beings are such disappointments, you need to learn to be emotion-less.' Yes indeed, human beings can be such monumental disappointments... and some don't think before they talk, others act first and think later, and some just don't think. People can be very selfish, and see absolutely nothing wrong with it. Remember though, that there is absolutely no point losing sleep over someone else's actions or words, no matter how badly they affect you.. because the person is probably sleeping and snoring (now that's between that person and God), or at best, really sorry for their actions (but their sorry asses can't tell you). Forgiving is easy, forgetting is almost impossible... but sleep is necessary, for everyone - with or without a conscience, ... and fortunately, or unfortunately, everyone gets what is coming at them eventually, even when they wear their metal hats. And sometimes when people do the things they do, its not because they are inherently evil.. they are also growing up, they had different agents of socialization, which have affected their thought processes. Don't hold it against them.. life is interesting, people get better everyday, people learn new things everyday, people drop bad habits everyday, people develop consciences out of nowhere, people learn from their mistakes, and their 'punishments'... and life is still a party. It may be a bitch sometimes, but its also a hardcore party! straight, no chasers. lol

~ Inspiration -- Hot tubs and huge glasses of concoctions :D

                         Someone asked me why I have insomnia, and I said I think I'm worried, but I dunno what I'm worried about.Infact, I think I'm allergic to school, cos I slept just fine when I was at home. I asked, why do you have insomnia? He said, I think my ghosts of the past are haunting me. I said, Heehhhh, kudos, you have a conscience. lmao

* Songs of the day: 'Where are you now?' by Honor Society, 'Hallelujah' rendition by Alex Burke (doesn't she just look amazing?), 'All the right moves' by One Republic. ENJOY!!