5 randomly random things I thought about today as I was being my random self randomly on the train

1. Why would any man allow himself to have blue balls. If your move really really doesn't sauce, why the hell won't you just masturbate? Yes, that was quite random, but I really want to know. Please explain if you wish. I want to know the mechanics.

2. I was on the train with two other men, both looking shady as ever. One of them was smoking on the train! The other just reeked of alcohol. I thought to myself, "Why the hell is this inconsiderate mofo smoking on the train. Please Massa, if you want to die, please die alone! Selfish fool. Why can't you be like the alcoholic over there and die alone? Why do you want to kill me with your second-hand smoke! Please, if you want to commit suicide do it responsibly. DRINK, DON'T SMOKE!" Yes, those were my thoughts. I was greatly peeved. Smoking in public is not right. Smoke in your room and die alone!

3. I switched trains. I was going to the last stop, so at some point the train was completely empty except for me and some other guy. The guy looked like a killer! Sorry murderer/ rapist/ everything bad. I thought to myself, "What will I do if this guy decides to rape me right here and now? Well, I can bite him, but really, thats it! So God please do not allow this big black shady looking guy to find me remotely attractive, Thank You". The very sad truth is, if home boy was some smallish Asian sitting at that corner, I would have found no need to say this prayer . Why would I think of the little Asian as a harmless creature when he can probably karate-kick my butt and steal my wallet...but noooo, I wouldn't have thought of anything like that (This is a hypothetical situation. Not all Asians are smallish and not all Asians can kick karate ass or steal wallets). Basically, the dude in the train was a threat because he was big, black, ugly and had a frown on his face. Not cool on my part, but chale, I was freaking out.

4. I was listening to 'Chocolate Legs' by Eric Benet (on repeat, because its a sexy song). Right after I had listened to 'Chocolate High' by India Arie, and I thought of another song, 'Brown Skin' by India Arie. I was wondering...Are there any songs about 'white skin', 'white legs', 'caucasian smile', 'caucasian summer's night'? I shall leave it at that.

5.  I need a bubble bath, a massage, a glass of wine, a bed and a prayer. Just so you know, I only got the bed and the prayer. I said the prayer myself, and I got a shower instead of a bubble bath :-( I'm still waiting for the massage. I don't think that is going to happen either. *sigh*

ps. I have actually met people who are more random than I am.